Amazing Grace

Day after day, I approach You
“I won’t do it again.” I say
I can’t imagine how it pains You
When I do it again anyway

And then, after I’ve fallen again
I hide from You, afraid
Embarrassed of these stains
Unwilling to show You how far I’ve strayed

Knowing You’d forgive me but still ashamed
I hold the pain inside
Unable to present to You my shame
Feeling as if our relationship had died

Until I cannot bear the separation
And I dare to crawl to You
Preparing my explanation
Feeling dirty through and through

I open my mouth to plead my case
And ask you to forgive me
But You running to me with a ready embrace
Was something I didn’t foresee

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I sob to You
As you gently hold me close
“I did what I told You I wouldn’t do.”
Although I’m sure You already know

And as You stood there holding me
I heard You quietly say,
“Oh, my daughter, don’t you know
That my mercies are new every day?

Your sins are gone, they’ve been erased
You once were lost but now you’re found.”
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound.

It's another country heard from...

So here I was a few minutes ago, sitting in some desolate corner of everybody's favorite coffee shop, the Mill. and I forgot my headphones and the cord for downloading music from my computer to my mp3 player. so here I sat, with nothing to do with myself. but I had already bought myself an Italian Soda (amaretto), so I was committed to staying here at least until I had finished it.

So now I'm writing here. and I couldn't think of anything to talk about, so now I'm going to be really lame and steal the topic from Nikki's newest blog. but don't worry...I have my own perspective about getting two more people in the house.

When Nikki and Jim first moved away, it was so hard and I couldn't picture living without them and all that. well, it's been a year since then. I've adapted and learned to get by. this sounds horrible, and maybe it is, but not having them around so much has actually sort of forced me to get closer to my other siblings. Josh and I are actually almost friends now. :) so recently, Nikki and Jim both moved back into the house after being AWOL for a year. I was wondering how well I was going to handle the change and hoping it wasn't going to be weird or awkward, but it wasn't that at all. in fact, I welcomed it...after I got used to it a little bit.

And there definitely was something to get used to, make no mistake. I'm a sort of messy person (okay, I'm a really messy person!) and Nikki is not. in fact, Nikki and I are about as different as those two dogs, Ted and Fred, in the book "big dog little dog". so when Johanna-the-slob and Nikki-the-neat-freak share a bathroom, there's bound to be a little frustration. :)

And when Nikki came into my bedroom and said "We're gonna have to change some things in here." I was like, whoa now sistah. you can do whatever you want with your bedroom and maybe even the bathroom...but this is sacred ground, so don't even try it. but after seeing her finished room...I'm inclined to change my mind. maybe a splash of color in my room would be fun to have after all.

But it hasn't been too bad. in fact, it's been a lot of fun having Nikki back. Jim too, of course, but Jim is gone a lot of the time, and when he is home he's either conked out like a gorilla on the couch (which also doubles as his bed) eating any/everything he can find or slouched in front of the Nintendo with a controller.

One other thing that's been kinda funny was Justin and Kelsey. I knew Nikki and Jim were dating, of course, but it's a little weird, and even slightly amusing to come home and find the "significant others" in my house. haha. Anyway, I guess that's all I got. I'm glad Nikki and Jim moved back, and I'm sure some pretty funny stories will come of it.

Well now, that wasn't so bad after all. and my Italian Soda is gone now, so I suppose I will be off.

It's FALL!!

Oh yes, it's that time of year again. the time of year to pull up the covers and starting making the cider. time to start shaking the dust off those old sweaters and musty blankets. time to start baking cookies and rummaging around trying to find your recipe for Russian Tea. Yes, folks, it's Fall. Or Autumn, or whatever you want to call it. I personally call it Fall because I've never approved of that little "n" at the end of Autumn.

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. "It's the most wonderful time of the yeaaaaaar..." No, stop. No Christmas songs. at least until December, or late November.

Fall is the best season ever. Reasons that I love Fall:
1) You can stand outside for more than five minutes without feeling like a icicle or a twice-baked potato.
2) You can step on all the crunchy leaves you want without feeling like a fool, because you know everyone else is doing it, too.
3) You can open your window at night.
4) You can cuddle under your covers.
5) You can have all the fun of the "holiday season" without tornadoes or blizzards messing up your plans.
6) You can wear hooded sweatshirts.
7) You're just starting to get excited for the many upcoming holidays.
8) Football. (I usually don't car much, but this year I'm totally pumped!)
9) Deer hunting season. I know. it's a dumb reason, but I really do love it!
10) Russian Tea. for those of you who've never had it...your life must feel so meaningless.

So those are some reasons why I like Fall. for those of you who wanted to know why I like Fall...

Oh, and on a little side note, my sunglasses died again. yep. those new sunglasses I just bought? broke in half. so I've decided that either my sunglasses have some sort of personal grudge against me...or the stuff in my purse has some sort of personal grudge against the idea of sunglasses in general. :-/