The Mood Scale For Dummies

I've realized something today. I was in a really good mood (cause I've got two days off in a row), and I was trying to come up with a list of things that are pretty. Cause that's what I do on my days off, okay? Anyway. I kept thinking of things.

Diamonds=pretty. Fire=pretty. Snow=pretty. Christmas lights=pretty.

But then, I couldn't think of anything that wasn't pretty, so I started trying to think of things that are ugly. But it didn't work.

Coffee=pretty. Mud=pretty. Rain=pretty. Sand=pretty.

And that's when I realized something. When I'm in a good mood (and I mean a really good mood, like I am right now), any and everything will be pretty. All is well in the world, forever. Nothing can go wrong. It's like I'm high on happiness. And the Happiness mix on my ipod just makes me fly higher, and get happier, and feel like I'm on top of the WORLD!! :D

Then again, on the flip side, when I'm having a bad day, it takes a lot to get me to snap out of it. I was having a bad day the other day, and so I listened to my Happiness mix, hoping it would make me feel better. It didn't work. As a matter of fact, it made it worse. I was like, "I don't want to listen to this stupid, happy CRAP!!" Pretty much when I'm in a bad mood, I just need to be alone and gradually remember that life is better when I'm happy.

Enclosed is a scale to help you (and me) gauge the extent of my mood, good or bad, and act accordingly. I will begin at -5, my worst possible mood, and we will travel through the mood forest until we arrive at 5, which is the very best mood I could ever possibly be in, ever in the world. Hold on to your socks, it might get ugly.

-5: This is the WORST day of my ENTIRE life, I HATE everything, I don't want to talk to ANYBODY or think about anything except about how ANGRY I am!! (During this phase, do not come closer than 8 feet, do not try to talk me out of my bad mood or make me feel better, and DO NOT let me near pointy things or matches. Someday I'll come back to reality).

-4: This is a REALLY awful day, I'm either very sad or very angry or both, and all I want to do is drive very fast on deserted roads while venting aloud to myself. (During this phase, just ignore me completely and DO NOT try to prevent me from driving away in my car).

-3: I am very frustrated about something or someone specific, causing the other things in my life to seem worse than they really are. (During this phase, invite me to come watch Psych with you, which will immediately bump my mood to a level 3).

-2: I'm sort of annoyed at nothing in particular, moping around and trying to boost up my mood with things like coffee, new shiny things, or making plans with people I haven't seen in a while. (During this phase, just give me a hug and a cup of coffee and, if possible, make a joke).

-1: Life is meh, slightly worse than normal, but usually I don't even realize anything is wrong. (During this phase, smiling at me or saying "hi" will be enough to boost my mood back to normal).

0: I am apathetic and indifferent to everything going on around me, my mood is about to teeter one way or the other. (During this phase, do anything positive or put on a good song that I like, pretty much anything will be enough to teeter my mood into the "safe" zone).

1: Life is pretty okay, pretty much normal, or slightly above normal, for no particular reason. (During this phase, do not say anything upsetting like, "Psych has been cancelled" or "Tomorrow it's going to be 65 degrees", lest you unknowingly cause my decent into a bad mood).

2: Life is good, not amazing, but better than average, things are going my way, and all the street lights seem to be green. (During this phase, propose any fun activity and I will most likely accept without hesitation).

3: Life is wonderful, all is well, the birds are singing, the music is happy, and more than likely I'm buying things. (During this phase, I might be getting slightly annoying with how happy I am, but don't try to bring me down, because you will only succeed in doing the opposite).

4: Life is SO great, nothing can go wrong, everything going on in the world is only serving in making my day EVEN better! (During this phase, just ignore me, and I'll float back down eventually).

5: There is NOTHING in the WORLD better than life as I know it, life cannot POSSIBLY get any better, I feel like Snow White dancing and singing with woodland creatures, there are rainbows and sunshine and happiness raining from the sky!! :D (During this phase, don't go near me, don't try to talk sense to me, don't tell me I need a drug test, and don't let me near pointy things or matches. Someday I'll come back to reality).

So there you have it. Now you know beyond a shadow of a doubt what to do (and NOT do!) no matter what is going on in my life. The only trick is knowing what level I'm at on the scale. Sorry. I can't help you there. You'll just have to wing it, I guess. :)