Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Most Incredible Phenomenon In The Entire World

So I'm now getting back to my "normal" style of writing because of something funny that happened the other day at work. so, first off, I must explain. there are these huge balloons in Hy Vee where I work, for Valentine's Day. they're seriously huge; like the size of a...a...really really big balloon. anyway, they have these little signs on them saying "poke me". when I first saw that I was like, "pfft. poke the balloon? what a joke." but then I started to wonder what would happen if I poked the balloon. would it explode and rain candy like a pinata? would a Genie appear? Would we have world peace?

But I've never done well with curiosity. I held off for as long as I could, but finally I had had enough. I had to know. and I had to know now. so I pull the string down and poke the balloon.

What ensued was the most fantastic, amazing, stimulating, incredible thing that's ever happened to me in my life: the balloon started to sing. my jaw dropped and my heart seemed to stop and my brain turned to soup. my eyes glazed over as the balloon continued to sing "You're Still The One".

You are still the one that makes me shout
Still the one that I dream about
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

When it stopped singing, I was still overcome with awe. I think just the fact that it sings when you poke it was the most incredible thing to me. my coworkers were a little less awed than I was. apparently, they all knew about the singing balloons and didn't find them especially exciting. in fact, most just found them downright annoying.

Are you kidding me??? they SING, people!! they SING when you POKE them!! I was excited. not even the fact that none of the other Hy Vee employees were excited about the singing balloons could dampen my fun.

But apparently, I've poked them too many times lately, because my coworkers always give me these nasty glances every time I stray too close to any of the singing balloons. so the other day, I made up my mind that I would get back into the good graces of my coworkers and not poke the balloons even once. it was going to be tough, but I was determined to stick it out. (at least for one day. :D)

So most of the day goes by fairly fast and uneventfully, until there's a lull in my line and my gaze falls on the balloon. I could feel my eyes getting wide and my mouth starting to drool. it was hypnotizing, that balloon was. and suddenly, I couldn't help myself. I walked over to the balloon, pulled the string down, and poised my finger over the shiny colorful surface.

All of a sudden, time stopped. really, I swear it did. about five of my coworkers were looking my way when it happened, and each had a hilarious (and dangerous) expression on their face. the girl manning the Express Lane looked mortified, her eyes were as big as dinner plates, and I knew the very last thing in the world that she wanted to hear was "You're still the one" coming from the balloon. the girl to my right had much the same expression on her face, but I also clearly read in her eyes some pretty severe ultimatums. My manager walking by screeched to a halt and gave a little shake of his head, begging me, pleading with me, probably on his hands and knees if he'd had time or if he'd thought it would've done any good NOT to poke the balloon. they were all at my mercy, and they knew it.

But none of them understood. the balloons could SING! it was my civic duty to poke the balloon. I owed it to the masses. it would be a sin not to. on top of all that, there was still the simple fact that the balloon would sing if I poked it. how could I not? I poked the balloon. bopping my head back to my register, I knew I would have to endure unspeakable hardship from my coworkers for the rest of the day. I smiled and hummed along. It was soo worth it.

You are still the one that makes me shout
Still the one that I dream about
We're still having fun, and you're still the one!

Peace out.


Swan said...

Lol! just so you know, you're not alone! I LOVE those baloons, in fact I almost drove Tom completely insane one day when I wouldn't stop poking the one on my register. So keep up the good work Jo!!! =)

Jessica said...

LOL that is awesome Jo! I love those balloons, I wish I could have been there to watch you poke the balloon a million times and to see the looks on your coworkers faces. I would have busted a gut laughing. Although I was nanny for a little girl whose dad had a balloon that did that. It was a birthday balloon with Tweety Bird on it. It sang: Happy Birthday to you
Happy birthday little tweety
Happy birthday to you.
By the end of the day I hid it in the closet.
Hey Sis I also posted another blog, it is an update and a Worrywart, but I feel it is only fair to warn yo that it is really long. It was about 6 pages on Word lol.
Have an awesome day Sis!!

Kaylene said...


THANK YOU!! That brought a much needed smile to my face today... You are hilarious.

Curtis said...

I need to buy one of those... Probably the brightest spotlight of my week was poking that balloon. *grins* I could tell that the other cashiers were watching me intently. I think I have a new past-time.