I think I must be crazy. seriously. no right-minded person would be doing what I'm doing. what am I doing? I was hoping you'd ask.
But unfortunately, I cannot tell you just yet. I'm learning how to do something. no, it's nothing really wonderful or beneficial or exciting. I mean, I'm excited about it, but I don't think anybody else would be. the reason I can't tell you what it is, is because I'm not done learning it yet. when I'm done, I'll tell you all about it and proudly give a demonstration. until then...
It's strange. I'm sitting here, teaching myself to do this. I'm doing it over and over and over again, trying to improve what little skill I've developed over the last few weeks. it's been kind of nice to be sleeping on the basement couch for the last week and a half, because I'm relatively alone, allowing me to practice in peace without people barging into my room demanding to know what I'm doing. dang nosy neighbors.
Usually when it comes to teaching myself things, I give up before I start. I have no patience or self discipline. or so I thought. with this thing...I dunno, it's different. it's almost like a mindset. like, I go crazy if I don't practice it all the time. even while I'm writing this, I've stopped every couple minutes to do it again. again. again. practice makes perfect. again.
Now, don't forget that I said this wasn't something exciting or even remotely useful. it's just something fun that I wanted to learn. and I didn't realize how badly I wanted to learn it until I started teaching myself and just...couldn't stop! it's weird. this is so unlike me. I don't do stuff like this. every other time, if I'm not good at it, I won't do it. period. don't know why, it's just how I'm wired. oh wow. that sounded like something a guy would say. this blog is becoming very odd. :/
It's four in the morning (note: the clock on my blog is like two hours behind what the time actually is, so don't look at that, thanks, --mgnt). I'm not feeling tired, but I know I am, deep down. I really ought to just stop practicing for tonight. but no! I can't! this is crazy. I'm going to be practicing this stupid, useless skill in my sleep! maybe it's because, each time I practice it, I can feel myself getting better. it's intoxicating. I'm addicted to practicing.
Again! Again! Again! Practice! Practice! Again! Obsessed? Dang, maybe I am.
"Over The Hills And Far Away." --Nightwish
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
A Hobo In My Own House!
How did it come to this? Oh yeah. I remember. it went something like this.
"Wow! What a pretty room!"
"You want it, Jo? it's yours."
"YAY!"
"But it'll have to be the guest bedroom."
"Yeah yeah, whatever. I LOVE MY ROOM!"
Curse my gullibility!! curse it a thousand times!! in case you hadn't put it together yet, we have company at my house, and so I was unceremoniously dumped onto the basement couch. here, Jo. live here until they're gone. okay.
But I did as I was told and lived on the couch...until more important people came and all of a sudden, I was also relieved of my couch. Here, Jo. take this blanket and find a new place to sleep. I'm sure you'll make due. okay.
So now here I sit. on my former couch. I know any minute they're gonna want it, to go to bed on it. lumpy as it was, it's still the only place I can think of to sleep. so here are my choices for new sleeping arrangement.
1) I could sleep on the upstairs couch.
Pros: I can sleep there, undisturbed and completely alone. I can also look at the Christmas lights.
Cons: It's on the middle level, the most lived-in room in the whole house. people who want to watch TV at six a.m. will have to either wake me or sit on me. if I sleep there I resign myself to early rising. very early (oh, the horror).
2) I could sleep in Nikki's room.
Pros: Nikki has said I can sleep there. Nikki and I have good times.
Cons: I would have to sleep on the floor. it's cramped. Nikki goes to bed before the sun goes down, and does NOT tolerate ANY noise of ANY sort after the light goes out. if I slept there, I would resign myself to early sleeping. very early (oh, the horror).
3) I could find a nice, cozy gutter to sleep in.
Pros: I would be completely alone. I could get up and go to sleep at my leisure.
Cons: It's freaking cold outside. I would probably have to sleep on rocks and sticks and whatnot. I would probably have to fight the wildlife of the Lincoln gutters, and it would not be pretty, or fun.
4) I could go to a hotel.
Pros: Soft beds, continental breakfasts, room service.
Cons: It costs a pretty penny, and by morning my face would be on every milk carton in the United States, my picture would be stapled to every telephone pole within a ten mile radius, and the FBI would have a command center set up at my house, waiting for the ransom call.
That's all I can think of. none of them sounds especially ideal, but I'm open to any options at this point. which one?? which one!!! blast. I never was any good at making decisions. somebody help me.
--My brothers and cousin playing the wii. bowling. come ON. if you're gonna play the wii, at least play something exciting, like the fighter pilot game!! but I warn you, I'm completely kamikaze!
"Wow! What a pretty room!"
"You want it, Jo? it's yours."
"YAY!"
"But it'll have to be the guest bedroom."
"Yeah yeah, whatever. I LOVE MY ROOM!"
Curse my gullibility!! curse it a thousand times!! in case you hadn't put it together yet, we have company at my house, and so I was unceremoniously dumped onto the basement couch. here, Jo. live here until they're gone. okay.
But I did as I was told and lived on the couch...until more important people came and all of a sudden, I was also relieved of my couch. Here, Jo. take this blanket and find a new place to sleep. I'm sure you'll make due. okay.
So now here I sit. on my former couch. I know any minute they're gonna want it, to go to bed on it. lumpy as it was, it's still the only place I can think of to sleep. so here are my choices for new sleeping arrangement.
1) I could sleep on the upstairs couch.
Pros: I can sleep there, undisturbed and completely alone. I can also look at the Christmas lights.
Cons: It's on the middle level, the most lived-in room in the whole house. people who want to watch TV at six a.m. will have to either wake me or sit on me. if I sleep there I resign myself to early rising. very early (oh, the horror).
2) I could sleep in Nikki's room.
Pros: Nikki has said I can sleep there. Nikki and I have good times.
Cons: I would have to sleep on the floor. it's cramped. Nikki goes to bed before the sun goes down, and does NOT tolerate ANY noise of ANY sort after the light goes out. if I slept there, I would resign myself to early sleeping. very early (oh, the horror).
3) I could find a nice, cozy gutter to sleep in.
Pros: I would be completely alone. I could get up and go to sleep at my leisure.
Cons: It's freaking cold outside. I would probably have to sleep on rocks and sticks and whatnot. I would probably have to fight the wildlife of the Lincoln gutters, and it would not be pretty, or fun.
4) I could go to a hotel.
Pros: Soft beds, continental breakfasts, room service.
Cons: It costs a pretty penny, and by morning my face would be on every milk carton in the United States, my picture would be stapled to every telephone pole within a ten mile radius, and the FBI would have a command center set up at my house, waiting for the ransom call.
That's all I can think of. none of them sounds especially ideal, but I'm open to any options at this point. which one?? which one!!! blast. I never was any good at making decisions. somebody help me.
--My brothers and cousin playing the wii. bowling. come ON. if you're gonna play the wii, at least play something exciting, like the fighter pilot game!! but I warn you, I'm completely kamikaze!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
For Example...
I've always hated math. well, I guess it's not the math I hate so much, as much as it is not understanding the math. when I get it, and I understand the problems and how to solve them, I'll do it. but it seems like I never could understand it like I was supposed to. and the math books themselves never, ever helped, even a little bit.
This has been bottling up inside me since I had my very first math book, and I'm sure any person who has ever been in school can relate. Y'know those "examples" in the book? they're supposed to show you how to do the problems, so you can do them on your own. but the examples I had in my books--in every single math book I've ever owned--have never once aided my learning process.
It would go like this. I would look at all the examples in the chapter, and they would be stuff like, "5 + 10 = 15" or "8 - 2 = 6". yeah, okay. you think to yourself. piece of cake. then you would go to problem #1. you frown, and turn back to look at the example, then look at the problem again and frown some more, cause the actual problems were stuff like, "What's 350 divided by half of four times the square root of the hypotenuse when 45.8 equals one angle of an isosceles triangle?" Usually, I would ponder this for a few minutes, flipping back to the examples every so-often, to make sure I was on the right chapter, and then say to myself, "Self, why don't we go take a stab at that Spanish homework?" and make a fast getaway. slick.
Other times, the examples were about powers or something, and then the actual problems were like, story problems! Example: "2 squared = 4." Problem #1: "If Jerry leaves Toledo in a single engine aircraft going southeast at 47 mph, and after he's gone 22 miles the wind begins to blow from the northwest at 74 mph and throws poor Jerry into a tailspin for five and a half minutes, and then the wind stops and one of Jerry's wings falls off, what time does Jerry reach Albuquerque?" Hmm, well, let me just consult my EXAMPLE!
Seriously, what's so bad about giving you examples that are just as hard as the actual problems?? what harm could that do, except help you catch on a whole lot faster? honestly. makes me wish I was a real smart math person, cause then I'd write a math book with good, helpful examples. pfft. like that'll ever happen, thanks to my math books. (yes, I have a pretty good sized chip on my shoulder).
Anyways, that's it. it's been bottled up inside me for a long, long time now. whew. I feel better. sort of. but now I have to go back to my math book, horrible examples and all. oh well. the torment ends on TUESDAY!!
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight." --The Tokens.
This has been bottling up inside me since I had my very first math book, and I'm sure any person who has ever been in school can relate. Y'know those "examples" in the book? they're supposed to show you how to do the problems, so you can do them on your own. but the examples I had in my books--in every single math book I've ever owned--have never once aided my learning process.
It would go like this. I would look at all the examples in the chapter, and they would be stuff like, "5 + 10 = 15" or "8 - 2 = 6". yeah, okay. you think to yourself. piece of cake. then you would go to problem #1. you frown, and turn back to look at the example, then look at the problem again and frown some more, cause the actual problems were stuff like, "What's 350 divided by half of four times the square root of the hypotenuse when 45.8 equals one angle of an isosceles triangle?" Usually, I would ponder this for a few minutes, flipping back to the examples every so-often, to make sure I was on the right chapter, and then say to myself, "Self, why don't we go take a stab at that Spanish homework?" and make a fast getaway. slick.
Other times, the examples were about powers or something, and then the actual problems were like, story problems! Example: "2 squared = 4." Problem #1: "If Jerry leaves Toledo in a single engine aircraft going southeast at 47 mph, and after he's gone 22 miles the wind begins to blow from the northwest at 74 mph and throws poor Jerry into a tailspin for five and a half minutes, and then the wind stops and one of Jerry's wings falls off, what time does Jerry reach Albuquerque?" Hmm, well, let me just consult my EXAMPLE!
Seriously, what's so bad about giving you examples that are just as hard as the actual problems?? what harm could that do, except help you catch on a whole lot faster? honestly. makes me wish I was a real smart math person, cause then I'd write a math book with good, helpful examples. pfft. like that'll ever happen, thanks to my math books. (yes, I have a pretty good sized chip on my shoulder).
Anyways, that's it. it's been bottled up inside me for a long, long time now. whew. I feel better. sort of. but now I have to go back to my math book, horrible examples and all. oh well. the torment ends on TUESDAY!!
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight." --The Tokens.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Once Upon A Time, There Was This Girl With Too Much Time On Her Hands...
Right now, there are a good many things I should be doing. I could take my pick. pick a card...any card! but no. I'm not doing any of the vast assortment of things I ought to be doing. and I was just sitting here wondering why, and I decided to analyze what I should be doing, and why I'm not doing it. strange, yes. different, yes. lame, maybe. who cares.
1) I should be studying for my upcoming finals. not doing that because: then I would have to look at numbers, and numbers make me cry. reason: good enough.
2) I should be reading a good book. Not doing that because: then I would actually have to find a good book, open it to the first page, and struggle through the first, boring parts. reason: good enough.
3) I should be making plans, both for the immediate and the far away future. not doing that because: that is way too deep for this time of night/morning (2:00). reason: really good.
4) I should be doing laundry. goodness knows I need to. not doing that because: the laundry room is two flights of stairs away, it would make noise and wake my brothers, who would then beat me up (or try to. I'm pretty scrappy when I want to be). reason: pretty darn good.
5) I should be wrapping Christmas presents. not doing that because: it takes a long time and makes a big mess, and I don't know how long I'm gonna be awake, and I wouldn't want to get tired right in the middle of such an undertaking. reason: lame.
6) I should be sleeping!! good grief! what's wrong with me?!? not doing that because: I'm the stupidest person alive. reason: laughable.
So. I know you're DYING to know. apart from writing this, what AM I doing?? it's just eating at you, isn't it. No? well, that's okay, I'm gonna tell you anyway. truth be told, aside from listening to music, I'm really...not doing much of anything. I'm sitting in my bed in my pajamas (at least I've made it that far) traveling around the music world, and making some good findings, I must say. and SO, instead of saying what I'm listening to at the end like I usually do, I'm gonna tell you some of the songs I've found, that I like. they're pretty diverse. sorry.
"Stampede." -- Chris Ledoux. While she is a fierce country music hater, Johanna approves of Chris Ledoux.
"Shades Of Gray." -- The Monkees.
"Poems, Prayers, And Promises." -- John Denver.
"Fly Away." --John Denver, again. what can I say, I like the guy.
"Generation." --Simple Plan.
"Five Iron Frenzy Is Either Dead Or Dying [Ska Version]." --Relient K. this song (if you can really call it a song) makes me laugh SO HARD!! I'm laughing right now! it's three in the morning, and I'm laughing out loud! oh no...I hope my brothers don't hear.
Oh no. I knew it would happen. sometimes the Tired just hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm so tired all of a sudden. oh man...there I go...bye.
1) I should be studying for my upcoming finals. not doing that because: then I would have to look at numbers, and numbers make me cry. reason: good enough.
2) I should be reading a good book. Not doing that because: then I would actually have to find a good book, open it to the first page, and struggle through the first, boring parts. reason: good enough.
3) I should be making plans, both for the immediate and the far away future. not doing that because: that is way too deep for this time of night/morning (2:00). reason: really good.
4) I should be doing laundry. goodness knows I need to. not doing that because: the laundry room is two flights of stairs away, it would make noise and wake my brothers, who would then beat me up (or try to. I'm pretty scrappy when I want to be). reason: pretty darn good.
5) I should be wrapping Christmas presents. not doing that because: it takes a long time and makes a big mess, and I don't know how long I'm gonna be awake, and I wouldn't want to get tired right in the middle of such an undertaking. reason: lame.
6) I should be sleeping!! good grief! what's wrong with me?!? not doing that because: I'm the stupidest person alive. reason: laughable.
So. I know you're DYING to know. apart from writing this, what AM I doing?? it's just eating at you, isn't it. No? well, that's okay, I'm gonna tell you anyway. truth be told, aside from listening to music, I'm really...not doing much of anything. I'm sitting in my bed in my pajamas (at least I've made it that far) traveling around the music world, and making some good findings, I must say. and SO, instead of saying what I'm listening to at the end like I usually do, I'm gonna tell you some of the songs I've found, that I like. they're pretty diverse. sorry.
"Stampede." -- Chris Ledoux. While she is a fierce country music hater, Johanna approves of Chris Ledoux.
"Shades Of Gray." -- The Monkees.
"Poems, Prayers, And Promises." -- John Denver.
"Fly Away." --John Denver, again. what can I say, I like the guy.
"Generation." --Simple Plan.
"Five Iron Frenzy Is Either Dead Or Dying [Ska Version]." --Relient K. this song (if you can really call it a song) makes me laugh SO HARD!! I'm laughing right now! it's three in the morning, and I'm laughing out loud! oh no...I hope my brothers don't hear.
Oh no. I knew it would happen. sometimes the Tired just hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm so tired all of a sudden. oh man...there I go...bye.
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