Sunday, December 21, 2008

A Hobo In My Own House!

How did it come to this? Oh yeah. I remember. it went something like this.

"Wow! What a pretty room!"
"You want it, Jo? it's yours."
"But it'll have to be the guest bedroom."
"Yeah yeah, whatever. I LOVE MY ROOM!"

Curse my gullibility!! curse it a thousand times!! in case you hadn't put it together yet, we have company at my house, and so I was unceremoniously dumped onto the basement couch. here, Jo. live here until they're gone. okay.

But I did as I was told and lived on the couch...until more important people came and all of a sudden, I was also relieved of my couch. Here, Jo. take this blanket and find a new place to sleep. I'm sure you'll make due. okay.

So now here I sit. on my former couch. I know any minute they're gonna want it, to go to bed on it. lumpy as it was, it's still the only place I can think of to sleep. so here are my choices for new sleeping arrangement.

1) I could sleep on the upstairs couch.
Pros: I can sleep there, undisturbed and completely alone. I can also look at the Christmas lights.
Cons: It's on the middle level, the most lived-in room in the whole house. people who want to watch TV at six a.m. will have to either wake me or sit on me. if I sleep there I resign myself to early rising. very early (oh, the horror).

2) I could sleep in Nikki's room.
Pros: Nikki has said I can sleep there. Nikki and I have good times.
Cons: I would have to sleep on the floor. it's cramped. Nikki goes to bed before the sun goes down, and does NOT tolerate ANY noise of ANY sort after the light goes out. if I slept there, I would resign myself to early sleeping. very early (oh, the horror).

3) I could find a nice, cozy gutter to sleep in.
Pros: I would be completely alone. I could get up and go to sleep at my leisure.
Cons: It's freaking cold outside. I would probably have to sleep on rocks and sticks and whatnot. I would probably have to fight the wildlife of the Lincoln gutters, and it would not be pretty, or fun.

4) I could go to a hotel.
Pros: Soft beds, continental breakfasts, room service.
Cons: It costs a pretty penny, and by morning my face would be on every milk carton in the United States, my picture would be stapled to every telephone pole within a ten mile radius, and the FBI would have a command center set up at my house, waiting for the ransom call.

That's all I can think of. none of them sounds especially ideal, but I'm open to any options at this point. which one?? which one!!! blast. I never was any good at making decisions. somebody help me.

--My brothers and cousin playing the wii. bowling. come ON. if you're gonna play the wii, at least play something exciting, like the fighter pilot game!! but I warn you, I'm completely kamikaze!

1 comment:

Hero's Cousin said...

for the record, i don't go to bed before dark. it's true, though, that i don't tolerate any sound after i am in said bed. :)