I think I must be crazy. seriously. no right-minded person would be doing what I'm doing. what am I doing? I was hoping you'd ask.
But unfortunately, I cannot tell you just yet. I'm learning how to do something. no, it's nothing really wonderful or beneficial or exciting. I mean, I'm excited about it, but I don't think anybody else would be. the reason I can't tell you what it is, is because I'm not done learning it yet. when I'm done, I'll tell you all about it and proudly give a demonstration. until then...
It's strange. I'm sitting here, teaching myself to do this. I'm doing it over and over and over again, trying to improve what little skill I've developed over the last few weeks. it's been kind of nice to be sleeping on the basement couch for the last week and a half, because I'm relatively alone, allowing me to practice in peace without people barging into my room demanding to know what I'm doing. dang nosy neighbors.
Usually when it comes to teaching myself things, I give up before I start. I have no patience or self discipline. or so I thought. with this thing...I dunno, it's different. it's almost like a mindset. like, I go crazy if I don't practice it all the time. even while I'm writing this, I've stopped every couple minutes to do it again. again. again. practice makes perfect. again.
Now, don't forget that I said this wasn't something exciting or even remotely useful. it's just something fun that I wanted to learn. and I didn't realize how badly I wanted to learn it until I started teaching myself and just...couldn't stop! it's weird. this is so unlike me. I don't do stuff like this. every other time, if I'm not good at it, I won't do it. period. don't know why, it's just how I'm wired. oh wow. that sounded like something a guy would say. this blog is becoming very odd. :/
It's four in the morning (note: the clock on my blog is like two hours behind what the time actually is, so don't look at that, thanks, --mgnt). I'm not feeling tired, but I know I am, deep down. I really ought to just stop practicing for tonight. but no! I can't! this is crazy. I'm going to be practicing this stupid, useless skill in my sleep! maybe it's because, each time I practice it, I can feel myself getting better. it's intoxicating. I'm addicted to practicing.
Again! Again! Again! Practice! Practice! Again! Obsessed? Dang, maybe I am.
"Over The Hills And Far Away." --Nightwish