Monday, August 20, 2007

So Anyways...

So I'm in a writing mood right now, and poetry isn't coming to me. so I guess this is my secondary default. *looks around* so uh...what to talk about. oh, I got it! now, I know this isn't going to be all that interesting or exciting or beneficial to mankind in any way, but I've decided to write about my typical workday. would that be too horribly boring?? oh well. I write stuff mostly for my own entertainment anyway. I just post it on the internet so people who share my same love of nonsense can enjoy it. :P

*Note: please feel free to yawn openly or abruptly close out this tab at any time*

Anyway. about work. I know I've already mentioned my work several times in previous posts, but I'll try to talk about different stuff this go-around. I currently work in a grocery store. HyVee to be exact. so before work I have to put on this costume--er, excuse me--uniform, consisting of a white blouse and black pants, which are far too hot to wear in the summer when the heat index is 103. so I go into work, passing other fellow employees on my way upstairs to "clock in". we exchange the customary form of greeting, which is usually a simple "hey" or some other one-syllable word with the same enthusiasm as one would say, "Hey, Mac, what're you in for?"

The "clock in" usually takes about ten minutes, depending on how early you arrived. because you have to clock in on the exact minute, there are most always about five to ten people all standing around waiting for said exact minute to arrive. this time usually consists of everyone standing against the wall and checking their cell phones for missed calls, being sure to avoid eye-contact, because otherwise we might have to say something more than "hey" to that person, and who wants to do that?

After the clock in phase is complete, all the employees who have just clocked in will file down the stairs and into the store like a line of zombies on their way to the electric chair. once in the open store, the employees will go their separate ways, each to his own station. farewell, brethren.

My station is at the cash register. my job is to be (or at least pretend to be) happy, respectful, social, and scan the people's groceries. ALL TOGETHER NOW! *yawn*. no kidding. this is what I hear all day at work, "beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beep..." the constant beeping could drive a soul insane! in fact, if it weren't for the courtesy clerks (the people who sack the groceries), I'm sure most of us would. the courtesy clerks are always full of jokes to tell once your lane is clear of people, keeping you down to earth and in a relatively reasonable mood. I'm not sure if the courtesy clerks were coached during their training to tell jokes to their cashier during down time, but I bet that would be a good idea.

One of the best things about working the cash register is The Phone. The Phone sits next to the cash register, and if you pick it up and press a certain code, known only to HyVee employees (and probably lots of other people) you can talk in that voice you always hear over the speakers when you shop for foodstuff! It's fun to use, although really the only reason for a cashier to use it is if you need a manager, and that only happens when there is a problem, complaint, or something bad happens. can be fun, but usually when you're using The Phone, you're not in a very good mood and you don't notice that you're having fun.

Nothing is worse when you're on register duty, then if the store is quiet. I mean, when there are 3,000 people in the store and they're all checking out at once and all you can hear is the Zzzwee...Zzzwee...Zzzwee of carts full of stuff it's not great fun either, but at least, after all the 3,000 people are gone, it's usually about 2 hours after you looked at the clock last and you are pleasantly surprised how fast the time has gone. if nothing is happening...time goes by...very...very...s-l-o-w-l-y.

All in all, work isn't too bad. in fact, it's pretty fun most of the time. the people are decent (usually), the coworkers are friendly (usually), the courtesy clerks make me laugh (usually), and I get paid (usually). not too shabby, not too shabby.

And with that, I will end this session of Jo's Nonsense. Tune in next time, when she will talk about something else totally random and meaningless!

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