Friday, October 5, 2007

Sip-Sans-Singe

Being now officially in college, I've been forced to acquaint myself with all the different "college kid" stereotypes, which are all true as far as I can tell. coffee and granola bars are what I eat most days. it's not a bad life, really. I mean, I pay enough to ransom an Arabian princess, which allows me to sit shivering in an icebox classroom and learn about past and present participles (in spanish), direct and indirect objects and how to abbreviate them (in spanish again), and make long lists of things we like and don't like and write in our journals (in english this time...different class). what a life!
*Warning: beware the riptide rush of sarcasm cascading toward you*

But it's not all bad. I mentioned coffee already, I think. that's probably the biggest perk of college. before now, everybody was always on my case for drinking too much coffee. now that I'm in college, it's expected, accepted, and encouraged. whoa. doesn't get much better than that, as long as you know how to drink it correctly.

As most people know, college kids are on a tight schedule, running here and there doing this and that, and even though coffee is often the sole diet of some, if not drank properly you could be left with half a cup left...and no time to drink it! this occurs most often because said college student, in all his genius, decided to wait until it had cooled off before taking his first sip. this is a mistake of gigantic proportions.

So, since I have mastered the art (that's right, I said art) of proper (and quick!) coffee drinking, I will pass down, to you my reader, my pearls of wisdom so that you may never be left with coffee left over before it's time to run off to Calculus 3.

So. the proper name for correct and fast coffee drinking, is a little thing we like to call Sip-Sans-Singe. it's...well it's sipping without burning yourself. it goes like this:
1) Take cup of coffee in hand.
2) Blow on the surface of the coffee.
3) Quickly, before the coffee you just blew on has a chance to get hot again, take a sip into your mouth.
4) Coffee will still be hot, so tilt your head back slightly and open your mouth a little, pushing coffee into your cheeks like a chipmunk. (make sure to keep hot coffee away from tip of tongue, very important)
5) Wait until coffee cools enough to swallow.
6) Repeat process until coffee is gone or it is cool enough to drink like a regular human.

Sip-Sans-Singe takes a while to get it down, but just practice it and it'll eventually become like second nature. just don't forget to tilt your head backwards before you open your mouth...or else you'll have coffee dribbling down your chin, which is strictly against the Coffee Code of the Coffee gods. and if you anger the coffee gods, you'll be cursed with cold coffee for the next ten years, and it'll be flavored like pumpkins. eew.

Anyhow, that's all I've got to say about that. my coffee is gone, and my next class is beginning momentarily. so I'll be heading off now.
Until the next time I'm too bored to do anything else,

--Johanna

11 comments:

Curtis said...

Hah! I love it. "Sip-Sans-Singe" sounds like a form of martial arts... Have you checked out the "chai tea" quote on Cas's facebook? It's hilarious...

Hero's Cousin said...

"coffee is the biggest *perk* of college." hah!

i have to admit i'm one of those people who waits till it gets cooled off (a little) to drink it. but i always just bring it to class with me, have you thought of that? :)

Jessica said...

I have to say I too am a wait to it cools kind of person. Although I do hate when you wait so long that you no longer have time to drink. But I guess that is one of the joys of doing school online, I am never late for class. Ok not never for instance I have 2 over do assignments I am supposed to be doing but I would much rather be reading you funny posts. Thanks for keeping me entertained and helping me procrastinate Jo!
Have a good day!
Your sister in Christ,
Jessica

Johanna said...

Bringing coffee to class?? pfft. my way is more better. :)

Curtis said...

Lol, "more better". Cheers for our college student!

Casandra said...

"more better" Nice work, Jo! That's how my seven year old brother says it too! :-)

And Curtis, it's a Tai-Chi quote. Not Chai-tea. (Though chai-tea IS amazing!)

Jessica said...

LOL that is hilarious!! leave it to curtis to make a mistake like that. geesh!
JK Bro!! Heehee
Jessica

Johanna said...

Yes, I say "more better", but I say it that way on purpose. yes, I am fully aware that it is improper English. it's just so much more better. :)

Curtis said...

Yea, I like saying "more funner." It really gets to my mom when I use incorrect grammar, lol. Somehow she doesn't trust me to genuinely make a mistake on purpose...

Chai tea... Tai Chi... same diff. They both kick butt... lol.

Jessica said...

More funner and more better are a esstentially part of the human language.
And Curtis your mom probably thunks you don't do it on purpose because you are a little bit of a grammar perfectio. Mister "you grammar hurts my eyes" lol.
BTW chai tea and tai-chi are very different.

Curtis said...

"Esstentially", "Thunk" and "You grammar hurts my eyes?" Wow. What does that even mean? *winks* Sorry, I couldn't help it. It just cracks me up that you're so at peace with your own bad grammar. It's almost like someone who compulsively robs banks or mugs people in dark alleys. *grins*

Lol, thanks for the heads-up, but I do know what Chai Tea is and what Tai Chi is. I think I should start a new thing. Any compound oriental words, I'll substitute with "chai tea."

That being said, I think the chai tea in this place is a little off-balanced. Maybe even slighty disturbed...