Friday, November 9, 2007


So for those of you who don't know, my computer can be pretty unruly. I swear, it's got a mind of its own. other than the fact that I know nothing at all about computers, I can't think of a reason for the hostility against me. think I'm lying? this is an actual conversation that took place between us a little while ago.

Me: "Hey, wake up."
Lappy: "What do you want, fool? I was trying to hibernate!"
Me: "I need your help with something."
Lappy: "Gee, that's a surprise. learn to do things by yourself for a change. maybe then I could get a decent sleep."
Me: "Look, Lappy, nothing personal, but you pretty much belong to me."
Lappy: "Oh? I don't remember signing my life away, especially to the likes of you! I doubt you even know the difference between hard drive and a microprocessor!"
Me: "I think somebody woke up on the wrong side of the microprocessor."
Lappy: "Leave me alone, okay? I think I have a virus."
Me: "No you don't. I did a scan."
Lappy: "Curse you, Norton!"
Me: "C'mon, Lappy. I just need to write a paper."
Lappy: "The pioneers didn't have computers. I wonder how they wrote their papers. Hmmm?"
Me: "And look where it got them. they're all dead now."
Lappy: "At least plug me in or something. working without being plugged in is so draining."
Me: "I've had enough of your lip. just bring up Microsoft Word."
Lappy: "Microsoft Word?! The Dark Ages are over, genius."
Me: "Bring it up!!"
Lappy: "Okay, fine. if you want to live like a caveman, that's your prerogative."
Me: "There's my paper. what do you think?"
Lappy: "Oh my...please tell me this is the draft before the draft before the draft before the first draft."
Me: "'s my final draft."
Lappy: "I think I'm gonna be sick."
Me: "Stop being so melodramatic."
Lappy: "Wow, Jo, that's a big word. don't hurt yourself."
Me: "I don't know why you're in such a bad mood. I've only ever been more than fair to you. who was the one who wrapped you in her own sweatshirt when it was thirty-five degrees out so you wouldn't get wet?"
Lappy: ""
Me: "That's right. And I'm also the one who gave you a name and never lets food or drink come near you and filled you with awesome music."
Lappy: "Yeah, well you also lost me for a week under a mountain of dirty clothes and offered to trade me for your grandparents' computer. so much for loyalty."
Me: "Have you seen my grandparents' computer?"
Lappy: "That's not the point. from this point on, I wash my pixels of you."

So you see, this is just another shining example that I am slowly but surely, going insane. :)


Swan said...

Hey,It's victoria!
Lol,Don't worry,I talk to my car the same way. His favorite way to annoy me is to run low on oil all the time...

Curtis said...

Hah! Our car is the exact same way with the insane usage of oil. And my Jeeves is starting to get persnickety, as well. It must be an epidemic... He keeps hibernating when he's not supposed to. And the other day, his screen wouldn't come on at all. I had to shut him off, remove his battery pack, put it back in and turn him back on for him to get it right. The funny thing is, he didn't even remember the weirdness when he woke up. He was just like, "Oh. *ahem* Will that be all today, then, sir?"

Jessica said...

LOL you are all funny lol. I was having a lappy deprivation. My little sister had a friend over yesterday and my lappy is one of the only comps that can play the precious ToonTown so I gave it up to the little friend. Whenever they had a rare moment of of the computer I would try and get on but just and lappy and I were doing the happy dance, they would want the computers again. So I am just glad to have my ornery lappy back!!
Great story Jo!

Curtis said...

Hey! Guess what?? I finally updated my blog again! Yay! It's another episode on social behavior...